Once again, I am amazed at how quickly time passes.
When I realize that it has been about a month I try not to feel a sense of failure at maintaining a consistent blog.
But than I look at what the purpose of why I started to write it to begin with than I allow myself to breathe, accept that life happens, and there are times when the need for a nap beats out the need to write.
I wonder if that is a sign of depression, or just being shy of 9 weeks until I birth a new little one.
Maybe both.
So I am slowly adjusting that I only see my children every other week. No, that's not right, I'll never adjust, but eventually hope to come to some sort of acceptance. Because the reality is that it is what it is and I am powerless to control it.
There have been lots of positives as well. I have done lots of camping, walking through woods and desert, enjoying the movement of the baby, being with my children, reading, barbequing, and the such.
Yet, there is still a part of me wandering...maybe the hormones of the pregnancy, maybe it's the work of grieving not raising my kids, maybe I need to know that there are times where it is ok to be sad.
Sometimes things feel unanswered, they seem to not be tied in a pretty little bow, sometimes life feels disconnected, kind of like the ending of this entry!
