A Fresh Start

I have never witnessed the connection that Aiden and James have...baby and daddy. I pray that as time passes that this bond will continue to grow in strength, love, mutual respect and joy as the years pass quickly to boy and dad, father and son, to that of friends.

James and I have had our tensions, but this past month we both are in a different mind set, a different zone if you will...the family zone. Not that we weren't a family before, but let's be honest the bonding of blood changes things not only for James and I but for Kathryn and Liam as well.
We are a more solidified family, and for this moment and those that are to come I think I can let my guard down a bit more.

And the beat goes on...

Not as much time has passed as I had originally thought.
But there were so many times over the past couple weeks where I wanted to get on to write but just couldn't bring myself to do so.

In 19 days I will be in the hospital giving birth to a baby.  Wish I could let you know if it's a boy or girl but we won't know until baby is delivered.

So among all of the nesting, resting, excitement and anticipation, insecurities also creep in...and I have some choices to make. And you know what I've realized; I am not one that enjoys making decisions. It's the people pleaser in me and yet I think it can also be perceived as an abdication of responsibility.

And I have a lot to be responsible for.

What I do know is that I cannot endure another relationship with a crazy ex...so if circumstances end up where that is even a remote possibility, I hate to say it, but I'm over and out.  At least that's how I'm feeling for now...